JEDWARD TO WIN X FACTOR CAMPAIGN

Aug 20

JEDWARD TO WIN RETURN FOR JEDWARD TO WIN (celebrity big brother)

Hello for JEDWARD fans! who are reading.

We (I) are returning because JEDWARD TO WIN is no a reapplicable name because they will win Celebrity Big Brother.

“We want to thank JEDWARD TO WIN for there massive support, because they are exclusively responsible for our winning,” JEDWARD didn’t say but would have if they heard of us.

Where have we (I) been? you probably thought, every time you pressed refrsh on are site. We (I) have been working at dominos.

Now we (im) back!

“I kknew you were going to be a good blogger from the moment you walked out here,” Louis would obviously say. say

GOOD LUCK ON CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER JEDWARD! 

Photo of their fampous entry to the house:

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Dec 22

CHEATS PUSH JEDWARD OUT

Chetaers in the xFactor competition pushed out JEDWARD amidst fear of JEDWARD pwning them.

This post took ages to write as were were comatose from bafflement.

JEWARD later exacted revenge with a web campaign to push the winner from the Xmas number 1 slot.

JEDWARD fans gave Simon Cowell a collective “FUCK YOU”

thank you all, goodbye

An upset JEDWARD fan

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Nov 09

JEDWARD SLAM COMPETITION LIKE A WHORE

JEDWARD fans across the country collectivly dropped one as the twins entered the final two.

Simon in his bastard cape and fangs tip tapped his fingers on the desk and the audience in the colluseum waited with misty breath on whether they would get a thumb up or down.

Lucy’s unborn child dies through her woe

It was officially divine intervention that made Simon leave it to the audience to decide, and guess what, the audience loves JEDWARD for their tallest hair, which was notably taller than evar.

“Lucy was quite fit but does not haave fly dance moves like us” JEDWARD may have said.

Louis’ efforts behind the scenes however, passing money to the right people and working the press and rigging phone lines, was not the real reason for JEDWARDS survival on Sunday.

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Oct 28

JEDWARD MAKE GIRLS FREEK

JEDWARD are reportedly makeing 4x as many girls freak out as the day before.

a scientist may have said, “the freak out growth rate is exponential, which means women are freaking out thrice as much daily, which is twice more than before JEDWARD jumped and air kicked onto the scene”.

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Oct 27

“Matt” from the telly has this exclusive report of X FACTOR for us

(viamattedmondson)

*not in reality exclusive to us

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Oct 27

simon ‘music bastard’ cowell’s EVIL SCHEME:

you may have heard today on the internet that JEDWARD WON the most votes. you will not be suprised, they are super fly.

but consider this young jedwan. SIMON COWELL IS TRYING TO SCREW JEDWARD. thats right, he has leaked info for the first time to make them get less votes next week.

IGNORE THIS LEAK. YOU MUST MUST MUSTEST VOTE FOR JEDWARD MORE. JEDWARD are not safe from this terrible music business, theyre talent will be taken advantage of and we must cusion them with telephonic voting.

THEY NEED YOUR VOTE OR THEY WILL STARVE.*

*pioneer louis walsh is a real pro when it comes to nurturing talent but his his methods are pretty hardcore, and they include starving and the naughty step. apparently he’s pretty hardcore into his supernanny, which incidently is why his sky+ box is ALWAYS full.

(picture from http://www.danschawbel.com/)

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Oct 27

HAIR INSPIRED BY JEDWARD

we all know how tallest and cool is JEDWARDs hair. the internet has been aflamed with amazing inpiration from JEDWARD and we are now amidst a hair revolution.

everything about this picture says ‘wooosh! we can really sing.”

readers of this blog have been sending in their tall hair efforts and we will be comparing them to JEDWARD.

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Oct 27

CORRECT GRAMMAR FOR JEDWARD:

there is only exclusively one rule for when writing the word JEDWARD”: always write it like this, JEDWARD. this is always in capticals and as loud as possible.

as well as this one rule there is just one excelption, of using the best describing words. these are probably called nouns. consider the order of real words:

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Oct 27

JEDWARD’s x factor debut!

wow when they say ‘are you ready to party’ i suddenly want to party!

they talk about how the ladies want them, because they have the best tallestest hair on stage at the time.

you can see louis show his high grade music intuition as his face lights up like london in the 40s.

the whole house is screaming for them, everyone is thinking ‘these are surely the greatest artists ever, how did they keep it a secret?” but it was bound to come out. here they are

JEDWARD YOU MUST WIN, for are futures

(via TheXFactorUK)

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Oct 27

JEDWARD TO WIN!

what do you think? leave your comments, but they must be positive or we will keep your name on a list for when JEDWARD are in charge.

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